PSA: Gwinnett County Shopping Etiquette

Headed out for some retail therapy? Follow these tips and you'll blend seamlessly with the Gwinnetian consumer culture.

1. When approaching the store, walk in the middle of the lane as slowly as possible. You probably need some time and space to compose yourself before joining the capitalist grind, and parking lot lanes are the perfect spot for a little pre-game meditation. If a car approaches, don't fret. They'll wait, they're on your time now. 

2. The store entrance is a great place for a cigarette. Maybe you need one to calm your nerves before heading inside, or maybe you've exited with your spoils and are having a congratulatory smoke. Regardless, don't waste time walking around the corner or to the end of the parking lot, the closer to the doors the better. 

3. Don't put anything back where you found it. This will give the staff something to do so they don't get bored on the job. If you unfold something, leave it unfolded. If you take something off a hanger, toss it wherever you'd like. If you get something out of one section, say kitchen wares, put it back in a completely different area, perhaps toys or automotive. If you're at the grocery store, you can put cold and frozen items back on any shelf, regardless of temperature.

4. The aisle you are in belongs to you, so occupy as much of it as possible. Position your buggy on one side, preferably at an angle as shown above, while you shop on the other.

5. Stores are a great place to sort out any personal drama you might be having. While talking on the phone, be sure to put your conversation on speaker with the volume up. If you don't need to make any calls, play some music while you shop, preferably uncensored and as loud as possible.

6. In Gwinnett, it's not how you pay, it's how long you pay. At checkout, savor the moment and take as long as you want. 

Using a card? Try a few expired ones first, or pull your card out of the machine early so the transaction has to start over. Bonus points for not remembering your PIN. 

Paying cash? Wait until the last minute to start counting, and use as many coins as possible. Bonus points for dropping a handful and chasing them down before finishing your purchase.

Feeling old school? Break out the checkbook and take your time locating a pen. Bonus points if you fill out the first check incorrectly. 

Feeling a little futuristic? Go with something like Apple Pay. The customers in line behind you could use a little entertainment, and what's better than watching you tap your phone on the reader again and again, praying to the ghost of Steve Jobs that the transaction goes through. 

Be sure to check out our other PSAs for more helpful tips.