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Showing posts from April, 2025

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I'm Sorry, I Thought This Was America

on April 16, 2025

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Speedy Gonzalez Arrested

on April 10, 2025

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15. The Gwinnett Grail Saga
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Popular Posts

Dystopian Gwinnett: The Meadows

Gwinnetians entering or leaving Lawrenceville via Grayson Highway have perhaps given a passing glance to The Meadows, a whimsically named parking lot shopping center marked by a neon sign next to the Popeyes, but few have likely considered the implications. You'll find a variety of bottom-tier enterprises here, including a defunct Big Lots, an unnamed tax accountant, a temp work agency, and just for bonus points, a check-cashing joint next door, but in what sane world could this bleak asphalt grid and collection of dying businesses be considered a meadow? Seen above, a lone tree defying the odds of this dystopian wasteland, a place where commerce goes to die and perhaps a harbinger of times to come, when the only meadows will be cracked asphalt bathed in a neon glow and the only trees will be pictures in books that no one reads. That, or maybe I've just been watching too much Blade Runner 2049 . Below, an actual meadow for reference:

Relic of Bygone Age Unearthed in Buford

Landowners clearing a bamboo patch off Financial Center Way (commonly called 'The Backroad') in Buford were surprised to discover an archaic remnant of the Pre-Internet Era hidden among the shoots and leaves. Talks are underway to preserve this piece of history so that future generations may marvel at the lengths people would once go to watch television at a time when Amazon was only a rainforest. If you're old enough to recognize the mysterious dish, then you likely also know what this button does:

Speedy Gonzalez Arrested

In a truly arresting development, Speedy Gonzalez, known to most as a charming mouse from the cartoons of their childhood, was arrested in Gainesville for a Walmart shoplifting spree haul that included about $20,000 worth of nicotine gum and diabetic strips. I wish I was making this up, but it is in fact all true. Visit our friends at Fox 5 for all the details on Speedy's most recent brush with the authorities.

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The Editor: I've always got a smile on face here at the editor's desk, because it's impossible to frown when you live in this modern day Eden we call Gwinnett County.

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